Acceptance-Finding the square hole

Many spend their lives making lemonade from the lemons of life, but many more struggle trying to fit the square peg in the obvious round hole. Tireless effort to achieve their goals is the mark of a champion. Unfortunately, humankind discovers frustration early on, prior to the Baby’s stage of Me, Mine, Give-Me. Some of the wise-ones deploy acceptance, which terminates frustration. Once we accept genuinely, frustration is rootless and ceases to exist. Acceptance is our key to the new path possibly leading to the goal when realistic maneuvers finally break through all the frustration.

Concisely acceptance leads to finding the square hole for the square peg. What is more frustrating than beating on that square peg and finding nothing left except a mess of the peg and the round hole, which is waiting for the round peg that could show up one day. Bill is a prime example of how this comes about.

Bill was born in the south during the sixties; he helped his grandfather in the garden, attended church painlessly with his family, and always did his homework. At home, he obeyed the rules and did his chores. In team sports, he was a good team mate, not a superstar by any means, but Bill did play the games by the rules, and applied good sportsmanship. He was an average kid, red-haired and not thin nor fat. Average is by no means bad, as it denotes the majority.

Deep down inside he wished for the accolades of superlativeness, but rarely heard them. Superstardom was a mysterious thing, and he had no ideas on breaking the secret code of overachievement. Bill spent many days pondering where this treasure hid, how he could score goals, and touchdowns, join the honor role, and bask in the warm glow of Glory.

In High School, he began to socialize with the girls he grew up with and even started dating. He hung out with the central group of his class; they did not belong to any particular club or team, but at most school functions they always seemed together. During this time, Julie watched Bill, and found him appealing. He was quiet, but not withdrawn, and always gave her a smile, and he had fire-red hair. Bill had always found Julie pretty, she had brown hair and green-eyes which blended well with her darker complexion, now he found her attractive. He liked her big, green eyes.

Julie pursued Bill, as he seemed reluctant to engage in responding to her gentle hints and looks. She looked for him at all social activities and kept close to him. Bill eventually came to realize she liked him, and that was its own glory. That was a superlative development which somewhat relieved his constant nagging in his mind about his mediocrity. He discovered his interest in Julie was much stronger than his concerns, he had a girlfriend, and she liked him.

Bill began to wait for Julie in the parking lot before the game, and made sure to ask her out to the next event. This relationship grew serious in their senior year and they both applied and attended the state university, Julie studied economics, Bill stuck to agronomy and the sciences required. When they achieved their bachelor’s degrees, they felt free to marry and build their lives together.

Julie went to work for a medium-sized bank as a teller, Bill submitted resumes to some of the larger agricultural corporations in Georgia, and after several interviews, and he found a position in management assisting a senior executive with his division. Bill went to work for Tom and the division of real estate management and acquisition, Bill had a great opportunity to grow professionally, and he was excited.

Their lives continued blissfully and in a couple of years, their son, Bill Jr. was born, followed three years later by Mary, and named after her Grandmother. Julie always wanted a daughter named after her mother and now she had a son and daughter. Julie’s relationship with Bill’s parents was great, and she loved her father very much, but none matched the bond she shared with her mother.

Bill diligently applied himself during these years and found ways to promote his ideas; he was very creative and had a lifetime of considering plants and the relationship with their nutrients and soils. From the time when he helped his grandfather in his garden, Bill wished to utilize ancient and modern technologies. Yes, he had a lifetime of pondering the general topic, agriculture. That was a driving factor for Tom when choosing a second view in the properties he managed, all were some type of agricultural operation and the gamble on Bill paid off well.

Julie had a great deal of support, Bill and his parents and her parents made a formidable team, and when little Mary was three; Julie began focusing more on work.

Julie’s mother Mary and Bill’s Mother Judith took turns watching the kids and getting them to and fro the pre-kindergarten and school as time passed, their role was vital in all of their offspring’s development from kids to grandkids. The team work developed a very strong bond for all of them, and that is a bonus for caring and trying. Learned experience noted, if you do not try to help, you do not learn this. Instead, you learn why not helping is not worth the effort it saved.

Julie worked through both pregnancies and the grandparents helped with babysitting, but soon the youngest would be in school and her job occupation needed some catch-up. She treaded water long enough and prepared to use her education and tenure to achieve promotion. The bank sponsored continuing education assistance and seminars, the opportunities excited Julie as she kicked her career into high gear.

In the next five years life changed for Julie, she aggressively trained and did her job. She became head teller and once again advanced to commercial loans. Bill also succeeded in building a strong relationship with Tom, and together they proposed many innovations as Bill had dreamt.

Bill Jr. was in third grade and Mary soon would be ready for first. Time continued its relentless march, and the children grew like weeds.

Ten years after college, they were doing well. With all the bases covered, the couple prospered in the satisfaction of success. In the late 1990’s their industries grew, and they had more than enough work. They both relegated their jobs when they were home and made time for the kid’s activities. Bill’s boss and mentor Tom read the writing on the wall, he knew after the dot com market adjustment that some new commodity would take its place on the investor balloon-filling machine, the next bubble to burst would be real estate. Tom waited a couple of years, but began planning his exit strategy.

When the time came he began his announcement with Bill, Tom chose Bill to take over his work, it was logical he would fill Tom’s shoes. Tom retired, but a young executive vice-president became Tom’s replacement, Bill was disappointed, understandably. Bill’s new supervisor was John Higgins. At thirty, John was creative, an ivy-league scholar, and a superstar.

John began harvesting old and new holdings, taking advantage of the land boom. Developers from the region found many of the operations perfect for redevelopment, most of the farms had built the roads that now would open the door for more traffic, residential traffic. This factor snowballed into many side effects and began a massive sell off and regrouping for the company, high profit years and gained efficiency created a new direction for Bill’s old company, one he chose not to follow.

Bill sold off some of his shares to finance a new occupation, he became an agricultural agent with his home county and began to meet and greet. He found his diminished income would do, and his normal work hours combined with his much-appreciated new role with the state gave him a little glory, he was over-qualified and great for his position. Effortlessly he assisted the local farmers as a good friend, and a respected authority.

Julie became a senior vice-president with her bank corporation and was very busy, her superstardom was hectic and she retired after twenty years because Bill did so well with his new role, she relished the future of team mom and someday grandmother, and knew the rewards of following her mother’s and mother-in-law’s footsteps, they showed her the way.

When time came for frustration, these two accepted, moved on and reaped satisfaction with their lives’ work. Bill at last is a superstar. He is the whale in the bay because his experienced-gained expertise is unquestionably solid, his advice and direction gold. The best part is his courage and wisdom to accept the inevitable led to Julie’s happiness as well. Life’s lessons hide in some peculiar spots, and usually living it is the only way you can stumble on them. For the grandparents, Bill and Julie knew to help them in their final years, they were taught how many years ago. Their grown children knew the way after watching their elders walk that road.

Attached to this lesson is some helpful information concerning depression, the stigma and challenges associated with it, particularly for the elderly from Caring.com, an authority on health care. Families that can care for each other will benefit from Christine’s expertise.


American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry: Interview with Christine deVries

By Brad Prescott, Caring.com senior editor from: http://www.caring.com/articles/american-association-for-geriatric-psychiatry


For those who are unfamiliar, what is the mission and purpose of the AAGP?


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Bringing Attention to the Mental Health Needs of Older Adults
Unfortunately, in today's society mental health is still viewed with a stigma, as some dirty little secret that many people refuse to discuss among family and friends. Many won't admit to themselves or others that they could benefit from treatment. Among seniors, this stigma around needing mental healthcare is often exacerbated by generational stereotypes of depression as something for people with "major problems," or as a normal part of life that should just be endured. Couple this with the general lack of experience and ignorance many seniors have in dealing with mental healthcare, and it's no wonder depression and mental illness are increasingly more common among seniors. Christine deVries, CEO of the American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry, discusses these issues and more.

Christine deVries, CEO: AAGP is a professional membership association that promotes the mental health and well-being of older people through professional education, public advocacy, and support of career development for clinicians, educators, and researchers in geriatric psychiatry and mental

The remainder of this article is at

http://www.caring.com/articles/american-association-for-geriatric-psychiatry